Why I'm Glad Clarissa Rejected Peter
While most of us initially did not favor Clarissa’s marriage with Richard, I believe she made the right choice between him and Peter. Peter and Clarissa understand each other deeply and share a special connection, but that does not mean she would live a healthy life married to him. We have seen Clarissa’s discomfort around Peter multiple times. Her insecurity in his presence is especially clear when he shows up to the party. Woolf narrates, “She could see Peter out of the tail of her eye, criticizing her, there, in that corner. Why after all, did she do these things?” (Woolf 163). Clarissa being uncomfortable in the person she became around Peter makes me think she would live a tumultuous life married to him. Sure, he may just mean to teasingly criticize her, and Clarissa might pretend it does not affect her, but we know that his critique makes her self-conscious of her identity.
One might argue that Peter and Clarissa’s tension is a result of their love for each other. While their love is special, I do not think it is enough for them to be compatible. They both have exciting personalities in their youth, but do those personalities really complement each other? There is no doubt that he is a crucial part of her life, but they do not have to be married for him to be so. Clarissa lives peacefully with Richard, considering her past traumas. She finds importance in independence and has it with Richard, an example being that they do not think twice about sleeping separately. Richard gives Clarissa the space that she often needs, making her life peaceful. While it may be in quieter ways than Peter, we know he loves Clarissa. He cares for her when she is sick and gifts her flowers knowing how much she loves them.
Considering how much Clarissa thinks about her actions, I believe she thoughtfully made a decision between the two men. I wish we were more involved in her thought process of choosing or knew if she ever intended marrying Peter in the first place. I also suspect her constant thinking of her past with Peter was catalyzed by her self-consciousness in hosting a party. Clarissa knows that her younger self would never expect to end up hosting a formal party like this. The fact that she is doing something out of character explains why she is spiraling thinking about an alternate path of her life with Peter on this day. I imagine that on ordinary days of her life, she is satisfied with Richard.
Honestly, I never really understood the idea that tension is a sign of love. There is a very real difference between teasing tension and actual damaging tension. For example, I trash talk one of my friends, and they do it back, but there is no seriousness in it, and what's important is that we both know that. Even if Peter is just teasing Clarissa (which I don't think he is, as there seems to be a degree of seriousness in his comments) it's very detrimental to her and we see her anxiety regarding it multiple times.
ReplyDeleteGreat post, and I also agree with Emily's comment. There is a thin line between teasing and being actually mean, and it is make sure both side knows this is light hearted and jokes. I do not believe Clarissa thought of Peter's comments as jokes but actual "shots" that cuts pretty deep. I also feel like being comfortable around your partner is pretty important when having a partner. If I'm going to live with someone for the foreseeable future, I'd rather have them be boring but comforting rather than exciting but I won't being able to relax around them.
ReplyDeleteYeah, I definitely agree that Clarissa made a good decision by dodging a marriage with Peter. In general, it felt like Clarissa and Peter's relationship and perception of each other was unhealthy and probably wouldn't mix well in a marriage. In a way, I think that Clarissa took the safe option by marrying Richard and in doing so, also sacrficied the more warm and energetic love that she had in previous relationships.
ReplyDeleteI totally agree. Clarissa spends a lot of time stressing about her identity, growing older, and the party, and it seems like Peter just makes it worse by being around her and being judgmental. Peter kind of seems like he's stuck in the past, whereas Clarissa wants to find her own identity in the present. Great post!
ReplyDeleteGreat post! I definitely agree with this. I do understand why people may not see her relationship with Richard as the best choice, but I also think a big part of that is because we genuinely didn't see that much about their relationship in this book. A big theme throughout the story is that Clarissa is reminiscing about the past. This doesn't mean she wants to go back or that she is unsatisfied with her life now, it just means that a part of her misses her old friends. I honestly could only see Clarissa and Peter as being friends, and I think Clarissa felt a similar way about him as well.
ReplyDeleteOne of the key lines, for me, on this question is when Clarissa reflects on the "space" that she and Richard leave each other, and how this space is necessary for a happy and stable marriage--she isn't particularly worried about where Richard is at that moment, and she knows he's not too worried about her (apart from his perpetual worry that she's not getting enough rest). It's clear that a relationship with Peter would NOT entail this kind of "space, and indeed even when he's hundreds of miles away in India he's taking up real estate in her head, with her certainty that he'd be criticizing her every moment. Richard and Clarissa seem to have worked out a dynamic that suits both of them, as they leave each other "space" but connect at key moments in the novel with real intimacy and shared understanding.
ReplyDeleteI think that Peter was Clarissa's first love, making him someone that will always be special to her. She will always have some sort of feelings towards him, even if they are not romantic. Yet, they just weren't right for each other. As you mentioned, Peter always criticized Clarissa, making her feel insecure. In this way, while they may have had a passionate relationship, it couldn't be a healthy one. Obviously, Richard Dalloway isn't without his problems- being unable to say "I love you" to Clarissa- but I think they are much more compatible together, if not just a healthier couple. I also liked his character better, so I was definitely rooting for him!
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